Puberty begins around the age of 11 and accompanies the teenager until he is around 15 years old. During this time there are always new situations for the teenager that he has to deal with. But it is also a difficult time for parents. Here are a number of tips to help you get through puberty together.

Puberty is when your children become strangers


The following situation occurs several times a day in teenager families:

Your child comes home from school and throws their backpack into the corner with a loud smash.

“How was school?” will be your first question.


You won’t stop asking questions as a parent: “Was there anything interesting today? Anything I need to know of?”


Or if your child wants to leave with friends, situations that will sound like this can occur:

You want to know where your child is going, if he or she will be safe and if their friends are well behaved and won’t put your child in troubles. So you will ask:

“Where are you going?”


“With whom will you meet?”

“You don’t know them”.

Your child is clearly in the stage of puberty. A challening time for parents. Parents then often have the feeling that their child is alienated from them. No matter how harmoniously it fits into everyday family life, all of a sudden you have the feeling that your child is a capricious rebel whose only purpose in life is to contradict your parents and to question their view of life.

Puberty problems can be solved

The fact is that nobody can escape puberty. It is largely genetic and everyone must navigate this time of change. One does this better than the other. Nevertheless, the same process always takes place. The brain begins to send out the first messenger substances at around the age of nine, and at the age of around 11 parents realize that their children are going through puberty. Complex biochemical processes take place in the child’s body and the result is that the production of sex hormones in the body increases. In boys this is testosterone, in girls it is estrogen. They bring about the sexual maturity of humans.

Puberty (lat. manhood) is the time when the body grows out. Sexual maturation occurs much to the parents’ dismay, although they would like to keep their small, nice and loving baby. As a parent, who likes to think that their own child could possibly develop sexual desires. Stupidly everyone has to face this fact in the face. (More about the sexual development of children )

education during puberty

Parents with their protective instincts naturally want to protect their child from everything negative, although this too is part of growing up. Teenagers, on the other hand, are testing their limits again. This means the defiance phase, which the child had as a toddler at the age of two, somehow seems to be repeating itself, only worse. The adolescents as they grow up begin to question situations and social issues. They develop their own points of view, which may not always seem reasonable, but which they regard as irrefutable. Pubescents clearly try to isolate themselves from their parents, for example by redesigning their own room, through their language or by consciously excluding their parents from their own social life.

Even though they need her parents so badly, especially in these strenuous years between 11 and 15, in order to find their own place in life. And that’s where the crux lies. As a parent, how do you manage to overcome this narrow gap between letting go and protecting? make yourself aware that your child will only recognize its own strengths and weaknesses through mistakes. They laid the foundation of family ties before puberty and showed their child what is right and what is wrong. Nevertheless, it will behave in a particularly selfish manner. It will try to gain more freedom in everyday family life.

But letting the child make their own mistakes doesn’t mean not setting boundaries. They are more important than ever these years. The influence of cliques leaves But letting the child make their own mistakes doesn’t mean not setting boundaries. In these years they are more important than ever. The influence of cliques leaves But letting the child make their own mistakes doesn’t mean not setting boundaries. They are more important than ever these years. The influence of cliques leaves Children drink alcohol and children smoke and also tattoos and piercings are hard to stop.

Also, give your son or daughter the opportunity to make up for mistakes and don’t set the boundaries too narrowly. However, if you feel like you are losing control, it is better to seek family counseling. Professional help is available there. Teenagers also often turn to telephone counseling.

Growing up isn’t easy

If you try to be persistent with your child, they will distance themselves further and further from you. Listening and being there when you are needed is the better solution. Responsible parents also start early with the sexual education of their children, because puberty also means that the first serious love will come: with all its consequences. If your child is already in the middle of the story, it may already be too late. Then also pay attention to the privacy of your child!

Now parents should learn to let go

Cutting off the umbilical cord of their own children is a real problem for parents. They become aware that their own puberty wasn’t that long ago and they also recognize that they are getting older. They are particularly tired and overwhelmed during puberty. Your own children are probably no less overwhelmed with the new situation and their feelings. But both parties have to go through with it. Even if your own children will always remain children in the eyes of their parents, at some point they will face you as adults and at the latest then the difficult time will be halfway forgotten and a certain pride of the parents in their own child will spread.