We want our children to grow up to be sensible, confident, independent people. Those who can trust themselves for once.
And we want to do our job well, better than our parents. Or at least different. In the same breath, the question arises “How do I bring up children properly?”
There is no ideal answer to this, educational concepts are individual.
Still, most agree that consistent parenting is essential.
Consistency means having a clear guideline that both parents and children adhere to. Consistency creates security because children know what to expect. It facilitates coexistence between parents and child.
What sounds so simple in theory is usually difficult in everyday life. Parents react to the situation.
Stress, pressure and weak nerves mean that conflicts are avoided and rules are discarded.
However, it is worthwhile to attach importance to consistent training. Without fixed rules, there is uncertainty and your child has to test their limits again and again.
Below you will find ten tips that promote consistent parenting and thus a relaxed family life.
1. Establish clear rules
Consistent education begins with formulating clear rules.
Children cannot know what is being asked of them unless they are told. You should think about what framework you want to set. This should then always apply. For example, only eating at the table. It helps to ritualize these rules so you don’t have to renegotiate them over and over again.
2. Traceability of the rules
It is easier for children if they understand the reasons for prohibitions. In this way, they learn to put their own needs on the back burner.
For example, saying “Please shut up, your brother wants to sleep” is more effective than just “Shut up.”
3. Logical consequence instead of arbitrary punishment
Consistent education also means letting children feel the consequences of their actions. A punishment is always a consequence, but often not a logical one that the child can understand.
A logical consequence is directly related to the misconduct. If, for example, the child does not want to wear a bicycle helmet, then it is not allowed to ride a bicycle.
It’s up to the child: if they want to ride a bike, they’ll probably have to put on their helmets in the future.
A good guideline here is always to separate yourself from the object of the dispute.
4. Exceptions prove the rule
In some situations it makes sense not to stubbornly insist on the agreed rules. For example, if your child is no longer allowed to use the computer, but urgently needs it for their homework. Children understand what exceptions are as long as the rules remain in place in the future.
5. Be a role model yourself
If you want to bring up children, you always have to reflect on your own behavior. As a parent, you have a role model function that has a great influence on your child. Because why shouldn’t it imitate what mom does?
Learn time management and avoid stress
6. Don’t be fooled!
Parents know the problem that everyone thinks they can have a say when it comes to education. Other people’s looks and comments can easily unsettle you.
So it seems obvious to avoid awkward situations in public. So maybe the child isn’t crying anymore because they got the candy bar at the supermarket checkout after all.
However, the result is that next time it screams again.
Consistent parenting means breaking free from other people’s remarks and enduring certain situations.
7. Consider the developmental level of the child
Babies cry when they want something because they have no other way of communicating with us. Rules don’t make much sense now, they always have to be adapted to the child’s age. Young children, for example, have a strong urge to explore, which is why it makes sense to only ban as much as is necessary.
8. Promote personal responsibility
Gradually, children should learn to take more and more responsibility for themselves. These areas, such as your own room or pocket money, should not be controlled too much. Own drive is always a better motivation than external regulations.
9. Participate in children’s lives
Interest, empathy, active listening and regular conversations strengthen the bond between parents and children. You develop a feeling for the needs of the child. This way you can better assess it when it is exhibiting undesirable behaviors. Children have many feelings that they often cannot regulate. Instead of punishment, sometimes comfort and understanding is more appropriate.
10. Parents are allowed to say “no” too!
With the numerous needs of children, parents sometimes forget themselves. But parents also need peace, order, or just a cup of coffee. You too can say,
“No, I don’t want to because…”
Happy parents also have happy children. So listen to your own needs, because only you can do that.