When the father is present at the birth

When the father is present at the birth

Heroes in the delivery room

“And, what do you think, you’ll want to support your wife during the birth, won’t you?” Hardly a man dares to say “no” when it comes to men in the delivery room. Today, when a baby is born, the father is expected to be present. Whether they like it or not, it’s kind of turned into a must-attend event. So it happened that nine out of ten fathers are now present at the birth. Come what may! Men get through this.

This path is very difficult for many men. The thought of watching a loved one go through terrible pain isn’t necessarily inviting. And yet most men consciously dare to do it. Not because society forces her, but to support her partner and not leave her alone in a difficult situation. Fortunately, the reward for this is irreplaceable. Experiencing the moment when your child takes its first breath will always be remembered. And later comes the cutting of the umbilical cord, a privilege that is often granted to fathers – they become a link between child and mother – a wonderful experience. But not everyone gets through it.

Don’t force your partner

Men who say up front that they do not want to be present at the birth should not be forced to do so. If they know all the facts and are informed about the details or have shared their experiences with other fathers, that is fine. A man who doesn’t want to be there won’t really be able to help a woman during childbirth. Then your girlfriend or someone you trust should come with you. The case is similar the other way around. Giving birth is one of the most intimate moments in a woman’s life. If she doesn’t want her partner to experience this exceptional situation, her father should accept that, even if it’s difficult for him.


Prepare for the birth together

It is important for all couples who mutually decide on a family birth experience to prepare well. Midwives , hospitals and birthing centers conduct childbirth preparation courses . These are particularly useful for first-time mothers. The course instructors show sensitively what the couples will face.

Unfortunately, the role of the father is too often only mentioned in passing. In fact, he is only a moral support for the mother. He can hardly help in the actual sense, perhaps through massage techniques or breathing exercises that were learned in the birth preparation course. Otherwise, the fathers usually feel very helpless. Their hands are tied, although they tend to take action in serious situations. This can become torture. Men like to know in advance what to expect. However, midwives do not want to scare fathers away, because childbirth is a bloody and painful affair, which can take a long time – or very, very long – and which could well involve complications such as a caesarean section or an epidural, an episiotomy or a bell or forceps birth. Every man should be prepared for this as best he can.

The fact that many men do not recognize their partner during the birth process is also unimaginable. The otherwise shy person may become a scolding and loudly screaming delivery person. In general, fathers underestimate how loudly the mother can breathe her child’s pain during childbirth. But the delivery room is not called the delivery room for nothing, from “kriss” = to scream. If it gets too much for a man, he shouldn’t be afraid to leave the delivery room for a coffee or to get some fresh air. An unconscious father next to the mother-to-be distracts from what is happening. Therefore, the mothers should also understand if it is too much for the father. Be it during childbirth, the afterbirth or the sewing of an episiotomy or perineal tear.

Once the mother and father have survived the birth, including all the ups and downs, the focus is ultimately on the baby. The first moments with the child, the bonding , are the ones that can seriously deepen a relationship between the parent and the child. And hardly a father has regretted witnessing the birth of his child. Many would dare to do it again at any time.
Also read: What to do after childbirth