Tips for merging
When it comes to falling in love for the first time, many couples seem to want nothing more than a cozy nest together. If you put this idea into practice prematurely, reality sometimes tears the rose-colored glasses from your eyes within a few days. Instead of sweet romance and idyllic togetherness, there is more and more gossip and stress. However, if you plan to move in together carefully and, above all, diplomatically, you can avoid nasty surprises.
Humans are creatures of habit. One would like to keep quiet in the morning and hide behind the newspaper, the other tells his nocturnal dreams two minutes after first opening his eyes without being asked and prefers to enjoy loud music at breakfast. One crawls into bed with a good book by ten o’clock at the latest, the other lets the puppets dance. When couples move in together in a hurry, these opposites and habits often become obvious all of a sudden, until at some point in the argument the disappointed sentence falls: “I didn’t imagine it like that.”
That’s why it’s important to sit down together several times before taking the final step into life as a couple and to lay your cards open: How similar are the fantasies of living together at all?
Learn time management and avoid stress
Find an apartment together
It is also advisable to look for a new apartment together. If one moves to the other, he must first conquer his own kingdom – an affair that often fails. So he adapts, but sooner or later he will miss his “green space”: a space that is his only and where he can express himself, be it in the facility, in cultivating a hobby or even just for solo- Relax.
Looking for an apartment has a healing effect: when discussing the advantages and disadvantages of the home you are looking at, it will quickly become clear what ideas the partners have of their ideal home. Now it is a matter of finding a middle ground that both are satisfied with.
Freedom-loving people in particular are well advised to make sure from the outset that the apartment offers them the opportunity to retreat. A modern loft without doors may impress with its openness at first glance, but it does not offer any niches. And in everyday life the need to be able to close a door behind you will arise again and again.
The interior of the apartment
Once the dream apartment has been found and there is a consensus about the future furnishing – this can take a while, because both tastes should be taken into account – the joy of the “cuddly nest” event must not be neglected due to the renovation and relocation stress. Therefore, it makes sense to take several days off for the move so that you can approach the new togetherness calmly and enjoyably – perhaps with a delicious pizza from the delivery service and a glass of red wine on the first evening, perhaps with a lazy day on the new sofa , maybe with a little party with your best friends.
Of course, you have to find binding rules for everyday life. That sounds unromantic, but it is the best basis for living together without smoldering conflicts and annoying misunderstandings. Housework should be split 50/50. Likewise, both partners must learn to accept it when the other simply wants to be left alone. However, if there are unresolved problems, avoiding each other is of little help. Then you should sit down at a table and do what strengthens every relationship permanently: talk to each other.