When men are jealous of the breastfeeding relationship

Jealousy of the breastfeeding relationship

In a perfect symbiosis, 24-year-old Marie holds her 3-month-old son Leon in her arms and breastfeeds him. This sucks blissfully to itself and finally falls asleep peacefully in mom’s arms. It’s always the same scene: if the little one cries, the mother can calm her baby with the magic potion breast milk almost on the spot. A fact that Marie’s husband appreciates, especially at night. And yet somehow the little monster jealousy gnaws at him. A jealousy of this very special bond, which a man will probably never experience in this way.
Tips for a good breastfeeding relationship

Carrying, diapering, cuddling with each other – jealous men in the midst of everyday baby life

Men just can’t breastfeed and nothing will change in the future. But they can certainly develop a very intense bond with their offspring. A good possibility is, for example, to use a sling . Nestled close to Dad’s creek and held securely by the cloth tied around him, the baby experiences very close physical contact and immediately feels his father’s closeness. The body heat and the simultaneous movement also cause unpleasant flatulence and the dreaded three-month colic alleviated. Restless infants usually find their inner peace after a few minutes in the sling and finally fall asleep peacefully. Fathers can and should also lend a hand with the daily diaper change. In addition to the purely routine hand movements, there is also the opportunity for extensive cuddling with the baby and for an intimate conversation, which is soon commented on with happy chuckles and the first babble. More about bonding

Be a mother – stay a woman

As already mentioned, many men react with a more or less pronounced jealousy to the breastfeeding relationship between the baby and the mother. In addition to the fact that they cannot breastfeed their baby, they are unsettled by the new function of the female breast – away from the erogenous zone and towards the pure source of food for the offspring. Some mothers jokingly say that one breast is for the man and the other for the baby – but joking aside: if you only find yourself in the role of mother and are no longer aware of your own womanhood, you risk tension sooner or later in the partnership. Understandably, a new mother can hardly make it to the shower until noon at first and she can only dream of such luxuries as a visit to the hairdresser or cosmetician. But at some point you will get used to dealing with the offspring and then it can only be an advantage if a woman pays more attention to her appearance again and does not spend the whole day running through the apartment in sweatpants and baggy sweaters. Every now and then an evening for two as a couple promotes the relationship and prevents jealousy and discontent. This “appointment” should of course be well planned. A babysitter organized in good time (preferably the grandparents) and pumped breast milk stored in the refrigerator also make it possible for young parents to maintain their relationship as a couple and to recharge their batteries for everyday life. Every now and then an evening for two as a couple promotes the relationship and prevents jealousy and discontent. This “appointment” should of course be well planned. A babysitter organized in good time (preferably the grandparents) and pumped breast milk stored in the refrigerator also make it possible for young parents to maintain their relationship as a couple and to recharge their batteries for everyday life. Every now and then an evening for two as a couple promotes the relationship and prevents jealousy and discontent. This “appointment” should of course be well planned. A babysitter organized in good time (preferably the grandparents) and pumped breast milk stored in the refrigerator also make it possible for young parents to maintain their relationship as a couple and to recharge their batteries for everyday life.
Tips for the first year with the baby

Show interest in partner

It is not uncommon for men not only to react to the breastfeeding relationship with jealousy. It is usually a mix of the feeling of being left out, having fewer or no more sexual contacts and the fact that in the conversations almost everything revolves around the little things. But the partner also experiences a lot throughout the day that moves him and that he might want to discuss with his wife or girlfriend. Instead, as soon as he walks in the door, he is immediately given the number of full diapers and can listen to how many meters the woman has walked with the stroller until the baby has finally found its way into the realm of dreams. Dear mothers: put yourself in the position of your partner and give him space and time to talk about his things and give him an open ear. What is on his mind at the moment? How’s work going? It is also worth staying in touch about common interests. Why not plan your next holiday together or think about how to reconcile your hobbies and the needs of the baby. When everything is no longer just about breast milk, spitting diapers and bodysuits that are too small, then the relationship with each other takes on a completely different level.

Life with a small baby is a unique and exciting story that your partner can also write about if both parents make an effort.