Family, Family Life, Relation and Sexuality

When men are abandoned by women

When men are abandoned by women

Advice for abandoned men

“It came out of the blue,” reports André R. melancholy, “I had the feeling that everything was going great. And then the shock. She left me. I didn’t expect that, it caught me off guard.” Everyone goes through breakups in their life. They hurt, maybe make you stronger or leave big gaps – in men as well as women. Why do men react differently to breakups caused by their partner than to relationships they ended? Is it really just the pride?

Oddly enough, many men live by the credo: If at all, men leave their partners and are not left by them. Why this body of thought is so present remains a mystery. And yet it often has the result that men perceive the failure of a relationship as a personal failure if it was initiated by their partner. Emotionally, men are then on the ground. Also Read: Ending a Relationship
Also read our tips for single dads

What now, asks everyone affected. The bond between two people is usually emotional, economic and social. Many factors come crashing down on both partners as a result of the breakup. But how to deal with it? There is certainly no magic formula. While women want to come to terms with what they have experienced and take an active approach, men often prefer to remain passive. Men suffer in silence. They want to be clear about what actually happened and try to figure it out for themselves. As a result, self-esteem and self-confidence suffer. A time of emotional chaos begins: loneliness, anger and hatred, defiance and, in the worst case, feelings of inferiority that are incompatible with the classic role as a man are part of the extensive repertoire of emotions.


causes of separation

Why women separate from their life partners often has its causes in the characters of the partners themselves. The most common reason seems to be found in the following classic development of a relationship: infatuation becomes love, love becomes friendship and habit. All too often, women no longer feel connected to their partners and end the relationship. Another reason lies in the classic distribution of roles in a relationship. Even with modern couples, it is often the case that the woman takes on different tasks in everyday life than the man. Household and children very often belong to the woman’s refuge, while men are at the upper end of the gender pay gap. Lack of appreciation also causes a woman in love to separate from her partner. The reason often assumed by men, that their wife loves another man and that he is possibly even better in bed than he is, is less true than one might think. If women cheat and try their luck in other beds, this is partly equivalent to a kind of self-affirmation and a search for attention. They may not have learned this from their long-term partners because they took too much for granted. more on the subject They may not have learned this from their long-term partners because they took too much for granted. more on the subject They may not have learned this from their long-term partners because they took too much for granted. more on the subject fling

And what about the kids?

Men who have a child with their partner are particularly hard hit. Because as a couple they may be separated, but they will be the parents of this child forever – separation or not. For children is a separation of parents a pivotal event in her life. As a rule, they stay with their mother after their parents’ partnership has ended. For the fathers, it makes the separation even more painful. Because the sense of responsibility for a child runs deep and the feeling of failure hits you even harder. Can I still be there for my child, how about the maintenance, will my child become alienated from me? Too many questions occupy abandoned fathers. Even for a father who has mixed feelings about his partner, the only thing that remains in the interest of the child is fair treatment of the ex. It would be too fatal if a child was additionally burdened with feelings of guilt and hate speech about his own mother and a war of roses on his shoulders is discharged.

Help for abandoned men

The time after the breakup is hard and long. And yet it is men who regain their self-esteem faster than women and who are usually much more likely to dare new relationships. In the meantime, they throw themselves into work or try to distract themselves. But even for a man who has left, it is important to take the time to grieve. Men who stand firmly in life find this very difficult. But grief will always accompany her as ballast. Some mourn a few weeks, others take years to get over a relationship. Friends who stand by you, but also advice from a psychologist, can be extremely useful when dealing with the separation. At a certain point the desperation and feeling of being a victim fades away and the willingness returns
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