Family, Family Life, Relation and Sexuality

When children discover their parents’ sex toys

When children discover their parents' sex toys

How do you explain sex toys to children?

How often do parents preach to their children: Clean up after playing! It’s too bad that parents keep forgetting to put away their toys after sex or to store them in a safe place for children. This is how some sex toys get into the hands of children unintentionally. Depending on the age of the little ones or the big ones, this can lead to embarrassing moments to which both parents and children react insecurely. How should one behave in such a case?
Also read our article: Education for children

Love toys – private items

There is no doubt that sex toys can enrich the love life in a couple relationship as well as in single mothers and fathers, and of course this knowledge does not stop at parents. But no matter how openly the topic of sexuality is dealt with in the family, for many adults toys are generally one of the topics that they are reluctant to talk about with their children. No wonder, because dildos, love balls and the like claim to belong in the private sphere of the parents. However, if they leave their toys out in the open or simply store them in the drawer of their dessert table, they are freely accessible to the children in the household. All parents have to deal with this because they are responsible for it.

Your own shame limit as an obstacle

Parents meet their children with a red head and a little hectic when they suddenly stand in front of them with the vibrator. It is not so much the children who associate it with something embarrassing or forbidden. Rather, one’s own sense of shame and the difficult separation of reason and emotion cause this reaction. Many sex toys are just “toys” for children up to a certain age, as they are often stylized and their actual function is not even recognizable. A six-year-old child will not perceive an anal plug as such, but in his childish curiosity he will rightly ask what it is used for. How openly one reacts to specific questions depends not least on one’s own sense of shame, one’s personal limits of privacy and the age of the child.


Include the child’s age

If a 16-year-old son finds his father’s cock ring by accident, his reaction is inevitably different than when his three-year-old daughter found it. If you can iron it out with small children with the saying: “You have your toys, mom and dad have their own. Only we can play with them”, other solutions are needed for teenagers. Because children do not see their parents as sexual beings, even if they have received extensive sexual education and have always been taught that sex is something completely natural, beautiful and normal. Older children in particular know about sex toys and their function, even if only rarely through their parents. Very often they even deal with the topic very casually and no longer find the parents as prudish as they first thought. If the children are unsure and ask questions that are explosive, especially during puberty, as a parent it is your responsibility to speak openly with the children, but to protect your own privacy as much as possible. The tightrope walk does not always succeed, but it should be the first attempt at a solution.

Keep open or find good hiding places?

At the latest when your own child is chained to the heater with the handcuffs that were actually intended for lovemaking or is standing in front of the mother-in-law with the new strap-on, it is clear: parents should also handle sex toys responsibly and stow them away safely. Bans arouse desires. So statements like: This is our drawer, don’t answer it! less promising in the long run. A lockable box or a corner that is inaccessible to the children is reassuring for many parents and sometimes saves embarrassing situations in front of the neighbors or grandparents. Cleaning and tidying up the love toys after sex is easy for most parents once their child has found the intimate toy because of the lack of order.

Is speech silver, but silence golden?

Where are the limits of enlightenment? Do I have to explain to my child what the item is used for? Here, too, one’s own experiences and personal attitude coupled with the age of the child are in the foreground. Some parents don’t find it difficult to explain what a dildo is used for, but others just can’t handle it and don’t have the open relationship with their children that such a conversation would require. In a broader sense, a factual explanation makes sense once the children have reached a certain level of maturity, but without overstepping their own personal boundaries or going into too much detail.

In retrospect, many parents see the situation with humor. After all, especially with older children in their late teens, you don’t always know which sex toys they already have in their closet or how often they use their parents’ condom supply.


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