The secret of a happy marriage
“Marriage is mutual deprivation of liberty by mutual consent,” said Oscar Wilde (1854-1900). The Irish writer, who led a dissolute life and, as a married family man, couldn’t keep his hands off his male contemporaries, may well be right in many cases. However, there are also married couples on this globe who lead a permanently happy and harmonious life together. But what do such couples do differently, what is their recipe for success?
Happy marriages promote good health
According to the latest reports from the USA, a happy marriage has a positive effect on blood pressure, while unhappy marriages cause poor blood pressure values. But how do you get into the blissful state of being part of a harmonious marriage?
US psychologists recently suggested that couples’ attractiveness is directly related to marital satisfaction. The male partner in a relationship should not be more attractive than the female part. Only then are both partners happy. However, this circumstance alone will probably not be the only factor for a consistently functioning partnership. The content of a partnership seems much more important.
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What is detrimental to a good marriage – avoiding marital problems & marital crises
“Love, what a lovely mist! But marriage is where the art lies,” proclaimed the writer Theodor Storm (1817-1888), who had been married several times but was also unlawfully married in the meantime. However, there is no art in avoiding factors that are clearly detrimental to a harmonious marriage, such as mutual distrust and pathological jealousybut also a lack of respect for one another. If there is also a lack of regular conversations and mutual interest in the other person, the initial infatuation, which ideally should turn into love, is soon dead. If you keep harping on trifles, love will soon be lost. There is not even a trace of a long-lasting, harmonious relationship!
What is important in a happy marriage
A happy couple is emotionally balanced. The partnership gives both of them a certain steady satisfaction. Men and women balance each other out, complement each other, exchange ideas, broaden each other’s horizons. Both are comfortable in their roles. If one partner does not do this, an imbalance is created that endangers harmony. Marital problems and marital crises are inevitable. Mutual respect accompanies the couple throughout their lives, differences of opinion are dealt with fairly and resolved to the satisfaction of both parties. In a harmonious relationship, everyone remains a bit of a secret and a surprise for the other, so love stays fresh and sex doesn’t mutate into a boring must. With a healthy basis and sufficient self-confidence of the partners in themselves, trust in each other will also be strong. Common, similar humor is also very important, the ability to laugh together about the same things. After all, the poet Eduard Mörike (1804-1875) said: “If you don’t have a sense of humor, you really shouldn’t get married.”
Many people only realize what type of person suits them best when they are already married. Unfortunately, for most of them it is then often too late for a new beginning – at least that’s what they think – and some stay in an unhappy marriage to the bitter end. Good advice is usually expensive here: Because the younger you are when you get to know each other, the fewer demands you place on your partner in terms of content. The mental and character deficits often turn out to be too late. Lucky are those who meet a soul mate right away. It is important that you can talk to each other about everything and find a solution together. This is the only way to solve marital problems and avert a marital crisis.
Especially now during the Corona Pandemic, many couples had marital problems because they were constantly at home together during the lockdown and realized that they no longer had anything to say to each other or simply had different interests.
You can also get help from marriage counseling .