Children are reaching puberty earlier and earlier these days. In contrast to girls, boys are about one to two years later and reach sexual maturity at about 11 to 13 years. At some point the time has come: as a father or mother, you are confronted with the first curious or even hesitant questions from the offspring, which demand an answer. Many parents are afraid of the informational talk and don’t know exactly what words to use to explain “this thing” to their offspring. And even for those who didn’t want to admit it until now: the little boy who only recently played with his train is slowly but surely becoming a teenager for whom the topic of sexuality is becoming more and more important. [ More info on puberty in boys ]
How do you educate boys?
How you deal with sexuality has a decisive effect on the development of the child. If the parents are very uptight in this regard, clarification is often an almost insurmountable hurdle for them. On the other hand, those who approach the topic of sexuality openly and without excessive feelings of shame from the outset will generally find it much easier to actually enlighten them. From the tender age of three to four, little boys are interested in their own bodies and discover differences between the sexes. The mother’s breasts are admired and people ask why she doesn’t actually have a “pullermann”. The enlightenment begins now. Talk to your boy about the different genitals and call them by their actual names.
The first ejaculation
It usually happens at night: the boy wakes up and his pajama bottoms are wet. The first ejaculation occurs around the age of 11 to 14 years. Many boys touch their penises beforehand and enjoy the pleasant feelings that come with it. And suddenly there’s this white, sticky liquid spurting its way out. If the offspring is not informed, it can be that they get scared and think that there is something physically wrong with them. Even if for many parents the thought of their own child in connection with sexuality takes a lot of getting used to: start taking up this topic in good time and work on it in a trusting conversation with your son.
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The first girlfriend – time to think about contraception
Suddenly the boy stands in front of the mirror in the bathroom for an unusually long time. The hair must be perfectly styled and any pimples must be covered. The old jeans from last year – no chance! New, cool clothes are needed! Aha – so the boy has his eye on a girl!
The first girlfriend is something very special. Previously unknown emotions overwhelm the offspring and their emotional world is upside down. The first kiss is usually followed quite quickly by intense sexual experiences. The boy can father children as early as the beginning of sexual maturity – if you have failed to educate your child so far, you should do so as soon as possible. Talk to your offspring about the male and female sex organs and their function and the consequences of unprotected sex. In this context, it is not just about an unwanted pregnancy, but also about the risk of contracting an infectious disease. In a parent-child relationship characterized by trust, it should not be a problem to demonstrate to the boy the correct use of condoms (for example on a banana). Just as the offspring should know their own body, it is advisable that they also internalize information about the female cycle. That’s the only way he can Understand the background to contraception and understand the need for it.
School, Internet, friends or parents – who will explain?
Children going through puberty are in many ways more developed than parents sometimes think. The issue of sexuality is no exception. In addition to the sex education lessons in elementary school, our children also get a lot of information in this regard from friends and various youth magazines. And last but not least, many kids are looking for answers to their questions on the Internet. So today’s boys are pretty well informed. Does that mean that the parents still have to educate themselves? A clear “YES”! At school, the technical points of sexuality may be ticked off; Untruths on this topic are often circulated among friends and the kids try to outdo each other with their experiences. Only in a protected environment, such as that offered by the parental home, boys can talk with confidence about the upcoming physical changes, about sexuality, contraception, and feelings. Education is much more than explaining how the sex act actually works. Love, trust, jealousy and unfortunately also one or the other lovesickness are feelings that are closely related to sexuality and are at least as important for the boy as the act itself. Mother or father are the most important reference persons – they convey the necessary security and security to have these conversations at all to be able to
Enlightenment is a process that extends over many years. Always answer your child’s questions openly and honestly and approach this topic without excessive feelings of shame. It doesn’t need preordained words or even a set time – you’ll know instinctively when your son is ready for these kinds of conversations.
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