Family, Family Life, Relationship Guide

selfishness in the relationship


Help! – My husband thinks only of himself!
A creeping routine – so they say – is poison for every relationship. A certain amount of effort is required from both partners so that the similarities do not disappear completely from a relationship and a certain monotony spreads. But not only everyday life often contributes to the failure of relationships. The self-image of both partners is also of the utmost importance. In today’s world, which is characterized by egoism and self-realization, it is often very difficult to find the right balance of self-love.

selfishness and partnership

It’s always just about him / her …
In an ideal relationship, mutual trust, loyalty, respect, in-depth discussions and a fulfilled sexuality are in the foreground. The partnership consists of mutual taking and giving, both lovingly take care of each other. But one can often observe that over time the partner becomes a matter of course and then usually one gives more than the other. After a certain time, one and then maybe the other starts to “do their own thing”. A vicious circle that ends in the spiral of selfishness and ruthlessness. How can you prevent this or make sure that it doesn’t get that far in the first place?


When the partner is selfish

A certain amount of selfishness is completely normal. However, too much of it is dangerous for a partnership, since a relationship is always about togetherness and not about pushing through your own interests. As long as self-love is healthy and doesn’t hurt anyone, it’s not a problem. If you cross the border, the result is that you are only focused on your own wishes and needs. Living side by side, injustice and one-sidedness are the consequences of this egoism spiral. In order to counteract this in good time, both partners must do equal relationship work. It’s no good if you endure your partner’s selfishness in silence for months or maybe even years and then eventually explode because you can’t take it anymore. Look for an open conversation with your partner, preferably in a calm and pleasant atmosphere. Give your partner time. He will probably find it difficult to change completely overnight and already praise every little effort in the right direction. Also read:My husband is a mama’s boy – what to do?

“Think of yourself too” – I-centricity in the partnership

Being there for your partner is easy for most people, especially at the beginning of a relationship, when infatuation is still strongest. Everything revolves around the partner and the consideration towards him is infinitely large. But that is precisely what is often a dangerous undertaking: one mostly forgets oneself. One’s own interests, one’s own hobbies, possibly also the circle of friends are employed completely at the back. You lose a part of your personality over time and adapt fully to your partner. As a result, you slowly but surely lose your self-confidence. A lack of self-confidence usually ends in fear. Suddenly one of the partners is afraid of not being loved by the other, not getting enough recognition or even being abandoned. distrust and jealousy are the result. Thinking about your own ego may be more difficult than you first think, as it often means changing ingrained behaviors in yourself and in the relationship. Do something with your friends again. Find a hobby or pastime that you enjoy. Try to rediscover yourself. Self-love not only forms the basis for your own happiness, but also has a strong effect on your relationship. Anyone who is afraid of change in their life will inevitably counteract a standstill. A condition that can ultimately destroy a relationship.
A visit to marriage counseling / couples therapy may help to restore balance in your relationship.


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