How does relationship anxiety arise?
Fear of closeness always comes to the fore when a man or woman somehow doesn’t quite find a partner. It is then quickly said that “he” is not able to get involved in a relationship because he is afraid of relationships. Finally, as an increase or peak, there is even talk of the inability to relate. This raises the question of what it is really all about, where the causes are hidden and whether there is a way to get rid of this fear?
he fear, the worry about a relationship, is probably due to the bad experiences of the past or to the impressions that take place in the surrounding couples or result from their stories.
The fact is that in general relationship anxiety is interpreted as a masculine trait – maybe because they are more afraid of independence, afraid of commitment, afraid of responsibility? It may be that such statements will drive many a man to the barricades, but what is the reason then? Women too – especially the younger ones – are increasingly becoming paranoid in relationships and prefer to be alone rather than in a partnership.
signs of relationship anxiety
Typical signs of relationship anxiety are “escape attempts” and excuses when things get serious. The more harmonious the relationship becomes, the closer and more familiar, the more anxious the “sufferer” becomes, who in such situations often alienates the partner and turns away. It has also been proven that people with a relationship phobia choose exactly those partners where they assume that they probably won’t be able to work anyway – be it because of the age difference is too big, there are children/no children or because someone lives pretty far away. You don’t allow any deep connection to develop at all, you’ve known it from the beginning anyway and – quite clearly: the other person is to blame. Someone who is afraid of relationships quickly feels like a “prisoner” and avoids planning for the future together.
Ex-partners are often the trigger for such fears – usually not even because they were overly jealous or aggressive, but because separations often cause major injuries that make you vulnerable. They worry about deep feelings for fear of another injury. Fear of relationship always has something to do with fear of loss.
How to overcome the fear of intimacy?
There is very good and descriptive book material on this subject, as well as courses and groups. In some cases, psychotherapy makes sense. But to do this, the person concerned must actively cooperate and recognize that a relationship in which intimacy and freedom are balanced is possible and valuable – but this can only come about if you give it the chance.
In men, it can also be because they are mama ‘s boys .
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