Family, Family Life, Puberty, Relation and Sexuality, School

In love with the teacher – now what?

In love with the teacher - now what?

What to do if your daughter or son falls in love with the teacher?

The feeling of being in love is one of the most beautiful feelings of all. It tingles in the stomach and the anticipation of seeing your loved one again is huge, even if it is only from afar. And then only the feeling when you are spoken to by the person concerned.

Every teenager gets into this situation at some point and gets to know themselves and their feelings better. At some point it may even spark – but what happens when you fall in love with your teacher? A problem that mainly affects schoolgirls between the ages of 14 and 18. The trainee teacher who still looks young or the caring father figure is often confronted with such situations, even if the students try to keep their feelings as secret as possible. When called to the blackboard by the teacher, they often cannot utter a word, stutter or turn red in the face. But the situation can not only be embarrassing for the student in love, but also for the teacher. Because he is not prepared for this situation either. Teachers who notice that a student

Help, I fell in love with my teacher!

By the way, not only girls fall in love with their teachers, boys also have feelings for their teachers from time to time, although this seems to be less common. But there is also the other case in which a teacher falls in love with a student. Of course, it becomes particularly problematic when there is a spark between teacher and student, i.e. the two fall in love with each other, because such a relationship is forbidden. Teachers who get involved with their students face imprisonment if they can be proven to have abused wards.


Tips for parents whose child has fallen in love with the teacher

To some extent, it’s perfectly normal for teenagers to have a crush on their teachers. They often look for unattainable goals such as stars or even teachers. The cause of falling in love with the teacher can also be rooted in family history. For example, the loss of a parent can express itself in this way. In such cases, teenagers sometimes consciously seek out unavailable people so as not to have to experience a painful loss again. If they then meet an interesting peer, their crushes on the teacher are usually quickly forgotten. But when the crush on the teacher turns into love, problems can arise.

Child in love with the teacher – what to do?
Parents who notice that their child has developed feelings for a teacher, or who are asked about it by the teacher, should react cautiously. Under no circumstances should they make fun of their child’s feelings, which is hurtful and leads to the teenager withdrawing. It is better to approach the conversation cautiously. Ask carefully and wait to see if the child might not open up on their own. Much more often than expected, children open up in conversation because they are looking for advice and help. Parents can then carefully argue that in private life the teacher is just a normal adult who is in a relationship, has children and is actually quite boring. It can also be helpful to point out that teachers are forbidden from having relationships with students and that they can be punished for doing so.

It can also be useful in such situations to take a closer look at the child’s circle of friends. Are there any real friends at all? Reclusive young people in particular often fall in love with their teachers. In this case, it can make sense to specifically promote leisure activities with children of the same age. Parents can go looking for a hobby together with their child – in this way a new circle of friends can develop in a very natural way, contact with peers is intensified and it is not uncommon for a nice girl or boy of the same age to be met outside of school , who is suddenly much more interesting than the teacher.

Under no circumstances should parents try to talk to the teacher and point out the situation to him, as this is extremely embarrassing for the child and, in extreme cases, bullying by classmates can occur. Parents who do not feel comfortable having such conversations with their child can seek advice from a social worker or chaplain. A trusted person such as a youth group leader, a close aunt or another person who has a very close relationship with the child is often the right contact person.
And how should parents react when the child comes home with the first friend ?


Leave a Reply