“The highest and deepest love is motherly love,” wrote the philosopher Ludwig Feuerbach. A good relationship between parents and their children is indeed important for their continued prosperity. But if the process of breaking the cord fails, there will be massive problems in later partnerships . Women just don’t get along with mama’s boys or with men with a dysfunctional mother-son relationship.
Mummy’s boys expect too much nurturing in marriage
It is said that in Italy quite a few men measure the qualities of their wives by their mothers. It is not uncommon for Italian men to accuse their wives of not being like their mothers when they divorce. One of the reasons is probably that most men – in Italy and everywhere else – simply lack the care in their marriages and partnerships. For twenty years or more, they were used to being cooked by their mother, having their clothes washed by her and cared for when they were sick. Today’s woman, however, works, also takes care of the children and often finds no time for extensive cooking, regular washing and timely ironing of his favorite shirts, let alone feeling sorry for the poor husband who is sniffing. You suddenly have to become independent. If he refuses and continues to orientate himself towards his mother, has her bring him warm soup to the marital bed, gives her his favorite pants to sew and forces the family to have Sunday lunch with mom, then many women react with anger, not without reason
Troubled mother son relationship
No man likes to be called “mama’s boy” and the term “mother’s son” actually means the extreme form of the son’s dependence on his mother. This son stays with his mother for the rest of his life and also spends most of his time with her. This is usually a “disturbed mother-son relationship”! Such men usually have no partnerships at all and are thus spared the women’s world. The weakened form of the mother’s son is therefore the much more “dangerous”. Strong bonds between mother and son simply represent an immense psychological burden for their wives. If only mother’s food is praised and appointments are constantly based on the mother’s appointment calendar, the wife constantly feels neglected compared to her mother-in-law,
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Possible reasons and causes of mama’s boy
According to psychologists, one of the reasons why mama’s boys often don’t detach themselves from their mothers enough is a guilty conscience. Mothers “sacrificed” half their lives for their sons and granted them all their wishes. Now it’s up to the son to take revenge and please her. For some, the father of a family who is absent or who, for whatever reason, keeps in the background, could also be the cause of the stronger bond between mother and son. According to experts, if there is no paternal authority, no freedom can be created to show the sons the way to life outside the family.
A particularly close mother-son bond can be a stress test for a partnership / marriage!
Mother-son relationship through the ages
Whatever the many complex reasons behind the strong bond between mother and son and the lack of detachment, it may change in the coming decades. Children who grow up today with a working mother are not so used to being cared for from an early age and are therefore more independent. Today’s mother’s sons, however, have one thing on their way: If their partnership is important to them, they should maintain the good relationship with their mother, but clearly distance themselves and lead their own lives. A good mother son relationship does not always have to be a problem for the man’s partner!