Many parents know that they would like to have several children, but when is the right time? And how much of an age difference from the first child is optimal?
One thing first: there is no such thing as the perfect time to have a second child. When you and your partner feel ready, go for it!
However, there are a few things you can consider before you decide.
The right time from a biological point of view
Most mothers today have their first child much later. If you are planning to have more than one child, the biological clock argues for a shorter interval.
The probability of getting pregnant decreases with age.
The reason: fertility decreases significantly after 35.
Pregnant despite breastfeeding?
If your first child is still small and you are still breastfeeding, the probability that you will become pregnant again directly is low. Many women do not ovulate while they are breastfeeding their child. In some cases it is still possible.
nightmares in children and adolescents
When is the right time from the parents’ point of view?
Many parents initially want their first child to go to kindergarten before a second child enlarges the family.
Then they have a little more time for the new baby. By the time the second child goes to kindergarten, the first one starts school and the mother can go back to work.
Career plays an important role in the right timing
A smaller gap between two children could offer better re-entry opportunities, since you are not immediately out of the professional world for, say, 6 years.
With a larger gap, you have more time to regain your strength physically and mentally. You can fully concentrate on your children without having to cope with a stressful job in the first place. With a greater distance, you also have the opportunity to work between baby breaks. This can give you more self-esteem and time off from changing diapers.
Finances and the question of childcare
To help you decide when it’s the right time to have a second child, take a look at your current financial situation. A second child costs more money. The work will be more, the care more complicated and the money usually scarcer. If you are already finding it difficult to make ends meet, you should probably wait a little longer. Care should also be arranged in advance. If the distance between siblings is small, you can bequeath baby clothes and toys directly.
The age difference – right after each other, or rather wait 3 years?
Both have their advantages and disadvantages. A smaller gap can foster a closer relationship between siblings. They can play together, but rivalries can occur. However, children quickly learn to bond as a unit against their parents. Such experiences can foster the basis of a good relationship.
Parents experience the first, stressful years of the children’s lives together. If the children have a small age difference, leisure time activities are somewhat easier because their interests are even more similar. It is also possible to place both children in the same daycare center.
However, two children with a small age difference are also more strenuous, since parents have to do twice the work.
A large age difference in the second child
Parents can pay a lot of attention to the first and second child. The older child is already more independent, the risk of jealousy among the children is lower. However, the greater age difference may make the relationship between the children less intimate.
Between the first and second child, you have more time for yourself as a mother. It is also advantageous that the children can benefit from the different phases of life. For example, the older child can help with homework and act as a role model.
If you plan a large gap between your children, you should remember that with your second child you will start all over again and another baby break will follow.
The relationship that develops between your children is ultimately not just about the age difference. Parents can support a close bond through family outings. Much more important than the age difference is the love of both parents.
What else you should consider so that the second child comes at the right time.
In addition to the questions about the financial, professional and age difference, there are other aspects that you can consider.
Your body needs some time to recover after childbirth. A new pregnancy is exhausting and finally you want to find your routine with the first child first. It can also be decisive whether there is enough space for a second child.
If you and your partner have decided to have a second child, you should think carefully about whether now is really the right time or whether you should wait another six months.