Unilateral desire to have children – reason for separation?
For a long time, the desire to have children in young relationships seemed to be completely normal. However, there are always couples in which only one partner really wants a child. The conflicts that now arise can seriously jeopardize a relationship.
When a man and a woman find each other, love reigns between two people. You plan your life together and move into a shared apartment. Now, the first own baby should actually perfect this love and life together, instead you find more and more couples in which only one partner really has the desire for offspring. The other partner may care more about the personal freedom and professional opportunities that one has without offspring. Even relationships that have been tried and tested can now be seriously affected.
Is separation a solution?
There are many reasons why a partner does not want to have offspring. What is certain is that a woman’s biological clock is ticking, at some point it is simply too late for a pregnancy . For some couples who cannot agree on their offspring, the only option left is separation. But also a separation. Of course, it’s easier said than done. The subject of children usually plays a subordinate role at the beginning of a relationship. As long as the butterflies make your stomach tingle, a young couple only has thoughts for themselves. Later, when the topic comes up and becomes a point of contention, then relationships are often already so well established and everyday life is involved that a separation “only” actually out of place from the issue of offspring.
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What can be done about the conflicts?
Once the point of contention has arisen, one tends to want to argue it out over and over again. However, constant “rewarming” tends to harden the fronts. Quieting the issue for a while may be more likely to lead to a resolution. The partner who would like to have a child will of course hardly be able to imagine his future without it. He has dreamed this long-cherished dream all too often, imagining life with children. In favor of the other partner, the other variant should now also be intensively considered. What are the advantages of not having children? What could life be like overall? If you want to convince your partner that you are happy to have children, you can act as a “probationary parent” for a limited period of time., to watch out for for a while. Opinions often change now.
So the shot backfires
Women in particular are often ruthless in their actions when they have an extreme desire to have children. Ultimately, they have the opportunity to get their wish through without the husband’s consent. It has happened again and again that women who want to have children have stopped taking the pill unnoticed and thus brought about a pregnancy that they themselves wanted. Although the child is then on the way, the relationship is often at the end of such a moment.
If only one partner wishes to have children, all the advantages and disadvantages of planning a child should be discussed as calmly and objectively as possible. Separation for this reason should always be the last resort.