When the partner hits the children

What to do if your partner hits your kids

Children in this country enjoy the right to a non-violent upbringing. The legislator has created a solid legal basis for this. Nevertheless, everyday life and numerous statistics show that violence in upbringing is still part of everyday life in many families. Both parents are not always involved, but only one uses the corporal punishment of the ward. Does a smack hurt?

Flying off the handle

The reason for hitting and slapping a child is mostly because the adult is overworked. More than half of the abusers are overwhelmed with the situation. They hit as soon as they are at their wits end and all talking or punishment is no longer helping. But tensions in the life of the abusive parents, for example due to separation from a partner or financial or professional problems, also serve as triggers. Most adults themselves have experienced corporal punishment in their childhood and have fallen into a spiral of violence. Many adults have already slipped their hands in an emotional state. But such behavior must not be repeated. When parents are overwhelmed

The consequences of the abuse

Bruises, broken bones or other physical injuries are the visible consequences of an adult’s violence against the helpless child. The psychological effects often go much further. Children are in a shelter within the family. They need security, attention and love. Degrading the child with the help of hits, kicks or kicks leads to mental abuse, which is just as punishable under the law as physical violence. Children experience a deep emotional insecurity, often do not manage to build up trust in other people or are unable to enter into a relationship later in adult life. In addition, they sometimes transfer the behavior of their parents into their everyday lives and resolve their conflicts with violence, often against those who are weaker. The children’s basic trust in their parents was significantly shaken. It is particularly serious when a parent tolerates the abuse of the child and does not protect the child against the abusive partner.

Extensive support services for children and parents

A mixture of shame, remorse and helplessness accompany adults whose partners use violence against a child. The clarifying conversation is often not enough. But only if outside help is sought can everyone be helped in their favour. Sometimes the abused children confide in friends, their parents, teachers or educators and the ball starts rolling. But all too often the violence stays within the four walls of the family.

The same applies to the partner, who seems uninvolved and helpless. Not infrequently, however, the violence against the child is just as intense as against the child’s mother. In nine out of ten cases of domestic violence, the police focus on the male partner as the perpetrator. There are undoubtedly just as many points of help for mothers. The youth welfare offices, the police, church advice centers and other independent agencies such as the Red Cross have trained staff ready to help the families. Even women’s shelters offer protection to those who urgently need it.

Children have the right to a non-violent upbringing. Physical punishment, mental injuries and other degrading measures are not permitted. In this day and age, a spanking can no longer be taken for granted. Many parents deliberately do without this means of education, but unfortunately not all of them.