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teach children independence

teach children independence

This is how children become independent

Every child has the desire to be independent. Some children show this very early and also very clearly. Other children, especially shy ones, need our help a little more as parents. But how do you support your child to become independent?

Self-reliance education through praise and encouragement

Self-employment has a lot to do with self-confidence and self-esteem. ( Strengthen self-confidence in children ) A self-confident child finds it much easier to act independently and take on responsibility. We can strengthen our child with praise and encouragement, showing them how valuable they are and that they have every reason to have healthy self-confidence. It is important that we pay more attention to its strengths than to its weaknesses. This is how we encourage rather than discourage. With our praise we emphasize that we recognize very well what is in him. In this way, the child will gain more and more self-confidence. ( Praising children is important )

Step by step to more independence

The more self-confident a child is, the faster it will move step by step towards more independence. Eat alone, even if something goes wrong. Get dressed alone, tie your shoes alone ( learn to tie bows ), visit friends all by yourself. Such small successes are valuable milestones on the child’s path.

Small tools

Sometimes particularly shy children need small tools that encourage them and give them courage. For example, if a child doesn’t dare to stay alone in kindergarten, you can set up a courage plan with them. There is a smiley for every brave act. Or you give the child a talisman that gives him courage in certain situations.

Encourage, but don’t overwhelm

In all of this, however, it is important to recognize how to support the child without overtaxing it. If, despite all the encouragement, the child does not dare to do something, it is advisable to accept this. At a later point in time, the child will take on many a challenge on its own. If we are then at his side and support him, that is an important milestone on his way.


trust the child

Of course, there are also children who dare to do things that overwhelm us. As parents, we get to a point where we ask ourselves what freedoms we trust our children to have. Should we let our child go to the playground alone? Do we allow him to ride his bike to primary school? When can you go to the cinema alone? Here it is appropriate to think about such questions calmly. It’s up to us to get used to our children’s independence step by step. Now we are asked to let go and trust the child with his newly won freedom. Also read: When parents are overwhelmed

set rules

Despite all independence, it is important to convey to the child that they have to follow rules. Whether it is a certain time when the child should be home or another arrangement. Through a certain framework that we set, our children learn reliability and a sense of responsibility. And they also recognize that we are giving them more and more freedom in this way. ( How to punish children who don’t follow the rules? )

solve problems yourself

Education for independence also means trusting the child to solve its own problems. We can provide assistance and support in an advisory capacity, but we should not remove all obstacles from his path and take problems out of his hands. When we talk to our child, we often notice that they themselves develop many ideas for tackling certain problems.

provide protection and security

On the entire journey to independence, it is crucial to convey to the child that we are there when they need us. That we stand behind him when it needs backup. We give it the necessary protection and security so that it can achieve true independence and healthy self-confidence. Because there are two things we should give our children: roots and wings.


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