Family, Health and precaution, Parenting

When parents are overwhelmed

When parents are overwhelmed

Help for parents – being a parent also has its downsides

Mummy! Mummy!! Maaaaama!!!!! – this call is constantly echoing through the house. The little one really wants undivided attention and is urgently looking for a playmate. The baby is crying and wants to be breastfed again. Finally the whole family is sitting at the table – but there is no sign of rest and relaxation. A fierce argument ensues between the siblings and there is a loud argument about the fair distribution of the sausages. It’s finally bedtime , but the dear kids seem to see it differently. They come out of their rooms what feels like 1000 times; are either thirsty or hungry, need to go to the toilet or miss their cuddly toy.

Overwhelmed mothers – baby and household are too much

Everyday life with children can be more than exhausting. A working mother is just as challenged as a housewife – and of course the fathers can also come to a point where they simply can’t do it anymore and everything is getting too much for them. The reasons for that are complex. Depending on the age of the children and the current family situation, there are very different things that make parents feel completely overwhelmed. Often, however, it is about normal everyday life that the parents no longer feel up to.

If the young family has just had offspring, the attention in the first few weeks is almost exclusively focused on the baby. The night’s sleep can be severely disturbed and even during the day rest breaks are difficult to achieve. Chronic lack of sleep leads to lack of concentration and irritability, and it is not uncommon for parents to feel anything but loving feelings for their baby as a result. Little Indians in the defiance phase can be at least as exhausting as newborns and woe to him, the offspring is entering puberty – then the parents need strong nerves to cope with everyday life. It is primarily educational difficulties that parents have to chew on – coupled with their own professional stress and private problems. Also read our: Tips for stressed mothers

Overwhelmed fathers – raising children and job

All parents get the feeling that their children are overwhelmed from time to time. Instead of understanding conversations, there are screaming mothers and fathers. Annoyed parents sometimes slip their hands because they just feel powerless. The whole family life is no longer fun and nobody feels really comfortable in this situation anymore. Caught in the treadmill of everyday life, it is not at all easy to look at the upcoming problems objectively. And yet this is precisely what is necessary in order to seek solutions and to achieve a relaxation of the tricky situation. First of all, it should be analyzed what is really behind the overload. Is it really the demanding children that get on your last nerve? Or are they actually acting normal? only we ourselves are irritated and therefore cannot bear it? Are there professional problems that play into this? Or is there a crisis in the relationship and private problems are in the foreground? Depending on where the causes of the excessive demands lie, you can now start working on changes.


Help for overwhelmed mothers and fathers

Overwhelmed parents may find help here:

  • Ask if Grandma or Grandpa can help.
  • Social workers/counsellors at the children’s school can help with school problems.
  • There is help for parents at the youth welfare office
  • Educational and family counseling for public and independent providers. (Ask for addresses in your community)
  • Your health insurance company may even be able to provide support
  • Practical help for mothers and fathers who are overwhelmed is often available in neighborhood associations or self-help groups.

More tips and help for overwhelmed parents

Of course, the stressed parents primarily need a break to find themselves again. Even half an hour without the children can help to escape from everyday life. Endurance sports in particular have a positive influence on the psyche. When jogging or walking you can literally run away from problems. During this time, the other parent or the grandparents look after the children. A babysitter can also be hired to give yourself some space. In the long term, learning a relaxation method has a positive effect on the psyche and allows parents to react more prudently in stressful situations. Whether yoga, autogenic training or progressive muscle relaxation – find out which method suits you best.

Doch was tun, wenn es gerade akut ist und man das Gefühl hat, gleich zu explodieren? Dann ist es besser, die Stresssituation kurz zu verlassen. Gehen Sie in einen anderen Raum, öffnen Sie das Fenster und atmen Sie ganz ruhig durch. Zählen Sie langsam bis 10 und denken Sie an etwas Schönes. Ist Ihr Partner zu Hause, so ziehen Sie sich allein zurück. Wenn nicht, so kann es auch helfen, gemeinsam mit den Kindern die Situation zu verlassen. Einfach raus aus der Wohnung und ab auf den Spielplatz oder eine Freundin besuchen. Bei einer gemeinsamen Tasse Kaffee sich auszuweinen kann sehr gut tun und entlastend wirken. Genauso hilfreich ist es, mit jemandem Vertrauten zu telefonieren. Sie werden sehen, danach geht es Ihnen schon wieder besser.

As already mentioned, educational difficulties are often the cause of excessive demands. Clear rules, a lot of consistency and a lot of love are the things that give children support and orientation. However, if the parents can no longer cope on their own, they should think about outside help. In every larger city there are educational counseling centers whose employees work together with the parents to solve the problems. Also the youth welfare office can be the contact for parents who feel completely overwhelmed with their children. However, many families are unfoundedly afraid of this office and do not dare to seek help there. That’s wrong. Because educational advice is not enough, the youth welfare office can also put a family helper at the side of the parents seeking advice, who gives concrete support in everyday life and guides the parents in raising their children and thus achieving better interactions with each other.

As with everything else, it is important to react in good time when the children and everyday life are too much for you. Some problems can be nipped in the bud in this way and don’t just get out of hand. Patience, a good portion of confidence in one’s own ability as a parent and many shared experiences promote family cohesion and give strength for the daily monotony. Also read: Overwhelmed With Second Child .


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